Zed stood awkwardly outside the front of his base, apprehensive to meet False halfway. What if she noticed his change in demeanour, or worse, the more physical impacts of his time repeating time? This time it wasn’t a well-hidden Lichtenberg figure, or even an easily covered sleeve of burn scars. It was a ring around his throat, a permanent brand for all to see that he had failed, and there would be even less hope of explaining this one than the others. He let out a breath as False approached, in a weak attempt at releasing some of the tension in his stance.
“Cool base you got here, Zed!” False greeted as she walked up to Zed. He adjusted the collar of his lab coat uncomfortably, hoping against all hope that she wouldn’t notice the blatant scarring that wrapped around his neck.
“Uh, thanks.” He nodded. Unfortunately, his luck ran out as False handed over the slime.
“What happened to your neck? Did someone behead you in another server or something?”
“Or—or something,” Zed managed to force out, self-consciously adjusting his collar again. False laughed awkwardly.
“Well hey, maybe you and Ren could make a club!”
“Ah yes, the beheaded hermits club.” Zed nodded, trying to force down the momentary panic at the mention of Ren. He knew Ren hadn’t been in his right mind when that happened, so why was he so scared?
With that, False bade Zed farewell, and headed down the mountain. Zed sighed softly. That interaction had been bad enough, and he figured getting Evil X back would be even worse if their reaction to his lightning scar had been any indication. This loop was going to be hell, wasn’t it?
As False disappeared over the horizon, Zed turned and went into his base, heading straight for his closet. He dug out the box that held his costume, and pulled it out, only to discover that the upper half was covered in dried blood. His hand drifted to his throat again. It made sense, he supposed. Wounds persisted. Clothing damage and pocket contents persisted. Why not both?
Still, it was annoying, to say the least. He’d have to do a deep-clean of the suit, or maybe even spawn in a new one, to fix the damage. Fun!
He huffed, putting the box away. No time like the present, he supposed.
———
Zed held up the nether star, distracted. He knew what Tango was going to say-
“Don’t get me star-ted!”
And there it was. Zed said something about wondering how Tango would follow up the beetroot. He didn’t know. It didn’t really matter. Tango hummed quietly, a deviation from what normally happened, causing Zed to snap back to attention.
“Right. Yeah. Now, your next task is to make yourself a friend!”
“...Make myself a friend?”
“Make yourself a friend.”
Tango frowned, but did as he was asked. Halfway through, as always, Zed switched the lights off. As always, Tango squealed. Zed tried to laugh, but it just wasn’t as funny the sixth time around. All he could manage was one half-hearted ‘ha’. When Zed turned the lights back on, Tango was looking at him funny.
“You okay, Zed?” Tango asked, a worried frown on his face. “Am I—am I boring you?”
“Oh!” Zed snapped out of his boredom, taking a moment to put on the smile that had slipped from his face. Fun with friends. He had to remember. Fun with friends. “No, I’m just… tired. I’ve had a bit of a bad… time period, you know?”
“A bad time period?” Tango asked, arching an eyebrow.
“All the time periods. I’m… I’m great.”
“Well, if you ever wanna talk about it, I’m all ears,” Tango offered. Zed held back the bitter laugh that rose in his chest. He would not be telling Tango anything, please and thank you. This wasn’t Tango’s burden to bear.
“I dunno,” he said instead, “You seem to have at least one eye.”
Tango cackled, and went back to trying to figure out how to craft an armour stand. Zed smiled as he watched. Maybe Tango’s little distraction had done some good after all.
———
“EXy! I’m here to save you!” The door splintered on the floor in front of Zed.
“Really?” EX chuckled darkly. “That’s adorable.” Zed winced at the difference. “I can see the scar. You can’t even hold your own in a normal fight. How are you supposed to handle this?”
Zed barely dodged the first bolt, lunging up the stairs towards EX. He dodged the shoulder bolt, but ended up missing his tackle and falling to the ground. EX knelt down and cupped Zed’s face. Zed looked up at them, eyes wide. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. Zed felt himself tense as EX’s fingers shifted to the spread they formed to channel lightning.
“EXy, please! You have to fight!” Zed yelled, pushing them off him. “Let them go! Let them go!”
“You know what…” EX laughed, pinning Zed down with their knee, and grabbing his head again, with both their hands this time. “I don’t think I—nngh.” They suddenly grunted, releasing their grip slightly. “I don’t think I will,” they continued, through gritted teeth.
Zed winced, preparing to have to do a do-over of this loop, when the concerningly familiar cry rang out, signalling EX’s victory over their mind. Zed felt their grip release him, and he slumped against the ground, breathing out a sigh of relief, punctuated by the sound of EX’s helmet shattering against the opposite wall. There was silence for a moment, and then-
“Worm Man?” EX’s voice whispered. “Shit—oh no, uh—Worm Man.” Zed felt a hand shake his shoulder. He opened one eye to let EX know he was fine. “Fuck. God. You scared me outta my skull.”
“‘M alright,” Zed confirmed. “You ok?”
“That—that doesn’t matter right now,” EX dismissed.
“Does,” Zed argued. “I came here to save you, remember?”
“Well… I’m… augh.”
“That’s fair.”
“Evil X?” X’s voice called from downstairs. Through his open eye, Zed could see EX’s face pale even further, somehow. An idea struck him, suddenly.
“They’re with me, it’s okay!” Zed called down.
“...Okay.” X sounded faintly confused.
“Thanks,” EX mumbled, as X left the building. “I’m not sure I can face him right now.”
“I know.” Zed nodded. “In your own time.”
“In my own time.”
———
“State your name.”
“My name? I’m the Ren-Diggity-Dog!” Ren grinned, the enthusiasm in his voice practically infectious, eliciting a small laugh from Zed.
“Good,” Zed nodded, smiling, “Now, I’m going to drop a few tools into the Chamber, and you’re going to tell me three words you associate with them.”
“Okay!”
Zed pushed a button, and a wooden pickaxe dropped from the ceiling. Ren picked it up, tossing it from hand to hand as he considered it. After a moment’s thought, he stopped, and spoke.
“Beginnings,” he told Zed, “Memory, and, hm… and forgiveness.”
“Interesting.” Zed made a note, then pressed the button again. This time, a golden hoe fell into the chamber.
“Excess,” Ren declared moments after he picked it up. “Magic, and power.”
Zed nodded, and made another note. He pressed the button a third time, and a netherite axe landed right at Ren’s feet. He slowly picked it up, like it was a thousand times heavier than it ought to be. Slowly, Ren turned the axe over in his hands, frowning.
“Beheading.” he decided on, eventually. “Winter? And, I dunno why, but the moon.”
Zed’s hand drifted up to his scar, a small wince striking him at the mention of beheading.
“Oh,” Ren gasped at the movement. “Sorry, dude! I didn’t—I forgot—”
“No, no.” Zed shook his head. “It’s fine. Just, you know…”
“I understand.” Ren’s hand ran over his own beheading scar, a perfect mirror of Zed’s. “I understand.”
“Well!” Zed clapped his hands, voice cracking in his desperation to dispel the silence that had settled over the two of them. “Let’s keep, uh, keep going, shall we?”
“Alright, if you’re okay with that,” Ren agreed, as Zed picked up his clipboard. “But, uh, if you—if you need to take a step out…”
“I don’t.” Zed shook his head, his grip on his clipboard white-knuckled and shaking. “I don’t.”
“Alright.”
———
After the disaster that was his experiment on Ren, Zed resolved to keep an eye on the Octagon guys. Sure, Ren’s behaviour had been slightly off during the experiment, but there was nothing about him that would indicate him being willing to behead half the Hermits. Something had to have happened, something was going to happen, that would change Ren and Doc in some fundamental way.
So he watched, hovering around on the edges of sight, ducking behind trees and bushes, and lingering around shops a little too long. The weeks and months trickled by without a sign of anything strange going on, other than Doc offhandedly mentioning a ‘hivemind’ a couple times. Again, Zed didn’t think this was to blame. This ‘hivemind’ seemed more driven towards breaking the world than breaking the people in it, and so Zed ignored that problem, content that it would ignore him.
He watched them as they built up the Octagon, as they created farm after farm and shop after shop, as they held the opening ceremony for their headquarters. Still, nothing changed. Nothing changed, and nothing kept changing, until, one evening, Zed noticed that the moon was beginning to approach once more. He was running out of time.
It was shortly after this, as Zed was on the verge of succumbing to the urge to just give up, to just move on, that it finally happened. Zed was hiding next to Doc and Ren’s chicken coop as the two were having some trivial conversation about building styles. Zed was about to lose interest when, out of the blue, his attention was seized by something falling from the sky. His eyes followed the thing as it plummeted down, until suddenly he realised, with a rush of panic, that it was going to strike where he was standing. Zed barely dove out of the way in time.
He watched from the waterline as Doc and Ren’s attention snapped to the site of the crash. He watched as they approached, and dug out the thing—a moon rock. He watched as Ren picked it up, and his stature, his poise, changed. Zed’s expression set into one of determination. There it was: there was his threat.
The plan, then, was simple. He’d deal with the Mooners, and then? He’d destroy that moon rock. Easy as cake.
———
Zed touched down in front of Impulse’s factory. Where was he? Did Zed’s actions affect the timeline this much? Zed supposed he hadn’t done the mitey maze prank in this loop — maybe that had had an impact? Well, either way, he doubted that Impulse would be in any state to be too far from his factory by this point, if the past loops were anything to go by, so Zed headed in through the gateway, and then over into the factory itself.
It took a minute or two of searching, but eventually he found Impulse staring expectantly at a coffee machine that was failing to run. It took Zed about two seconds to spot what Impulse had clearly been failing to do for a while.
“The coffee machine works better when you turn it on,” Zed helpfully suggested. Impulse turned to look at him, his previous plastered-on cheer entirely nonexistent without his caffeine fix.
“Huh?” Impulse asked, tilting his head. “Sorry, I, uh didn’t catch what you… said? Is that the word? Said. What you said.”
“Impulse, when… when was the last time you slept?”
Impulse frowned, then counted on his fingers, stopped, counted again, and looked up at Zed.
“Six?” he offered. “Maybe eight.”
“Six what?” Zed asked, frowning. “Days? Weeks? Months?”
“Probably.” Impulse shrugged. “Yeah, I think it’s, uh, been a…” a yawn interrupted whatever Impulse was going to say. He stared blankly at Zed’s left horn in lieu of continuing.
“Okay,” Zed sighed. “That’s it. I’m staging an intervention.”
“No!” Impulse snapped out of his haze. “No, no, nononono! No! You can’t! It’s—you gotta! Moon! Phantoms! Bad things!”
“Yes,” Zed nodded. “Phantoms are bad things. So you need to sleep! Right?”
“No,” Impulse shook his head. “Need to… keep them! Keep the phantoms safe! And the moon, the moon, gotta love the moon! Or bad things will happen.” He shook his head again, tried to walk over to Zedaph, and nearly fell over. Thankfully, Zed caught him.
“Bad things are already happening, Impulse.”
“Nope!” Impulse pushed Zed away and staggered back over to the coffee machine. “I just… I…” he spun around, looking for what he’d been doing, “I need more coffee!” He shook his head yet again, blinking rapidly as if to clear spots from his vision.
Zed pulled the coffee machine away from Impulse.
“You need more sleep.”
“Yeah, well, you, you need to… to read Mumbo’s book!” Impulse poked Zed in the chest, like he’d just made the best argument in all of existence.
“What?”
Impulse grabbed Zed’s arm, like before, and began to bring Zed to the Mooners’ temple. Zed went along with it, since he needed to end up there anyway, and Impulse’s pull didn’t feel strong enough to actually drag him anywhere this time. Even still, the journey was long and arduous and generally a waste of time.
Eventually, however, the two of them made it to the temple. When Impulse let go of Zed to go get the book, Zed took a cautious step back towards the door. He needed to be ready to bait Mumbo into EX's attack.
“Oh! Zed! Are you joining us?” Mumbo emerged from the shadows, right on cue. Speak of the devil and he shall appear, or whatever.
“Or something,” Zed replied. Mumbo and Impulse approached Zed, looming over him, and Zed was suddenly really glad for the exit behind him. Impulse pushed the book into Zed’s hands.
“Read it,” he told Zed. “It’ll explain everything.”
“I—I really don’t think—” Zed stammered out.
“You don’t need to think!” Mumbo interrupted and wow, if that wasn’t a red flag. “Just don’t skip the night, and we can appease the moon!”
“Yeah, uh…” Zed took a step back. “I don’t think I will?”
“A shame.” Mumbo shrugged, and pulled out an end crystal. Zed turned on his heel and bolted. He got about ten steps before he ended up tripping again. He really needed to get his boots adjusted. He lay there, heart hammering in his chest, until—
“GET AWAY FROM HIM!” EX’s yell echoed out, and Zed relaxed, as he heard the thud of Mumbo hitting the ground, and smelled that electrical-ozone smell that always accompanied EX’s powers.
Zed let out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. It was done. Two threats down, one to go.
———
Zed read over the note he’d made for EX. It was written in pink glitter gel pen, which probably didn’t really fit with the note’s message (an explanation of the terrible decision he was about to make, and a procedure in case he died in the process) but he wondered if EX knew Worm Man owned any other writing implements. He’d briefly considered explaining the time loop once more, but had ultimately decided against it. That wasn’t EX’s burden to bear.
He took up his pickaxe, and flew to Ren and Doc’s base. He knew that the rock was being kept in a large building in the large village-like area near the flying campervan. As he glided in, it became abundantly clear which one it was—it had to be the one which was conspicuously leaking tendrils of amethyst. Zed tried to ignore the suspicious red substance smeared over the crystals.
A strange warmth trickled down Zed’s spine and into the rest of his nervous system as he stepped into the room with the rock. He shuddered at both the sensation, and the general vibe of the room. To absolutely nobody’s surprise, blood-smeared amethyst crystals (because that was definitely blood, now that Zed was getting a closer look) that glowed and pulsed with otherworldly power were not the best of interior design choices.
Zed made his way further into the room, brandishing his pickaxe like a threat. He ignored how the closer he got to the rock, the heavier said pickaxe grew in his hands, and the louder the whispers in the back of his mind became. He struggled his way all the way to the side of the moon rock, and, with much effort, raised his pickaxe.
As soon as his pickaxe found its mark, however, Zed knew he’d made a mistake. The whispers in his mind became screams, and he found his mouth moving in time with them against his will. The pickaxe slipped from his grip, and, feeling like he was drowning in his mind, desperately trying to stay afloat, he let it fall. As his body turned and began walking outside of his control, he struggled and thrashed for a moment longer, before the control washed over him completely and he blacked out.
———
Zed fell to the ground as his senses slammed back to him with the force of several trucks crashing into one another. Everything was loud. Why was it so loud? He tried to move his arms to cover his ears, but they were tangled in something. Zed would’ve opened his eyes to see what it was, but even the glimpse he’d had of the world had been something he didn’t want again, everything bathed in sickly too-bright moonlight.
There were hands on his shoulders, pulling him up. Zed let it happen. At this reaction, their grip lessened, and even with his eyes closed, Zed could feel the worry emanating from them.
“Worm Man?” EX’s voice asked. “Is that you in there?” Zed nodded weakly, and felt himself pulled into a gentle hug. “I’m sorry.”
“Why?” Zed asked, upon realising that he was, in fact, capable of speech.
“I’m so fff—” Zed felt EX turn and look behind them momentarily, “fffreaking sorry.”
“EXy, why?” Zed asked, pushing himself away, mustering up the courage to open his eyes, and he immediately understood.
The sight that greeted him was not pretty. They were standing in the middle of Big Eye Bay, surrounded by spiderwebs, the ground spattered with blood, and Keralis and Tango’s heads laying at Zed’s feet. In the distance, X was standing defensively in front of Bdubs, although he seemed to be lowering his guard. Zed looked down at his hands, and realised he was holding a diamond sword, stained with red. A surge of panic flooded through him, and he dropped the sword, kicking it as far away from himself as he could manage.
“If it’s any comfort,” EX offered, in that tone that suggested no comfort could be found in whatever they were about to say, “We’ll all be dead in a couple hours anyway.”
Zed turned around, and saw that the moon looming over the horizon was significantly larger than it had been when he last remembered seeing it, and it was, in fact, about the biggest size it would get to before things really started catching fire and people started dying. Zed sighed.
Guess this run was a bust. Next time he’d probably need to figure out a way to maybe not kill his friends.